Steven Moffat is a Cunt (part 2) - The Final End

"The Name of the Doctor" was an exercise in masturbation, in which Moffat copy-pasted his fanfic characters throughout the entirety of the classic series. "The Day of the Doctor" does one worse, and sees Moffat have his way with the new series, with disastrous results.

Oh gosh how quirky. Truly a program for only the most unique, brilliant, and clever of people.

What's worse than enduring eight years of a mopey, raging, bitchy zoophile Doctor who is generally unpleasant, extremely judgmental of lesser privileged individuals, and severely bipolar? Having done so with the knowledge that he had zero justification to be acting in such a manner. As it turns out, he acted this way because he thought he might have wiped out his own race and blown up his planet. He has selective amnesia and blotted out the memory of actually (not) doing it. As it turns out, the Doctor basically tricked multiple incarnations of himself into being miserable, angsty assholes for no reason except to avoid flat-out overwriting the last eight years of the program.

We don't even get to use the excuse that all this angst accumulated while fighting the other 99% of the Time War, because John Hurt's Doctor is baffled at what could have happened to "make them [his future selves] ashamed of being a grown up" adding "Oh, the way you both look at me. What is that? I'm trying to think of a better word than dread." Based on this and the "War Doctor's" generally sunny disposition, we can only conclude that eons of war had no impact on his character whatsoever and it was him forgetting that he didn't blow up his planet that turned him into a genocidal, self-obsessed sociopath. Eight years consisting of (and driven almost entirely by) loads of contrived, cringe inducing angst for no reason.

It was a real shame that Davison's Doctor sacrificed himself to save Peri, only to obliterate her in a nuclear explosion as he regenerated.

This theme of negating entire swaths of the program carries over into "The Time of the Doctor" and invalidates several complaints in my previous post by undoing the events of "Name". Of course "Doctor Who" doesn't end with the Doctor dying in a war on a graveyard planet. History just gets rewritten instantly and he eventually regenerates back into Tom Baker and becomes a museum curator. I would bitch about this being crap too, but there's no point, because that too will get rewritten once Moffat or an equally inept successor comes up with a worse idea.

A story of a man bored with life in a dusty old repository ends by him choosing to retire to another dusty old repository.

"But it's for the kids!" you wail. No it isn't. The original series was, but its writers didn't assume their viewing audience was mentally subnormal and tried to do their job properly. "Time of the Doctor" was 50 minutes of characters humping each other (literally), followed by a bewilderingly stupid regeneration energy holocaust. It's not being written for kids, it's being written by Steven Moffat, for Steven Moffat (and his circle of 'elevated super fans'). Most adult viewers can't even decipher the plot threads anymore; I fear simply assuming there are plots to decipher is being stupidly optimistic. What we have now is a labyrinth of artificially complex plot holes and contradictions that can be drastically rewritten at any point. Any children left watching are here for bright lights and baby talk catchphrases. A program that once encouraged developing, inquisitive minds to think critically now punishes them by revealing one-dimensional bullshit and plot holes behind every mystery.

What I loved about Doctor Who was that it didn't ask to be taken seriously. Being raised on shitty B-movies, it appealed to me because it was essentially a B-movie, but with clever writing and a good sense of humor. This started to fade in the late 80's as it became less clever and more B-movie, but the show got axed before both qualities could wither away completely. With all of its fairy dust, painfully bad re-imaginings of characters, and garbage plotting, the "Doctor Who" we've gotten from 1996-present is virtually unrecognizable. It's painfully clear that despite the excellent casting decision of Capaldi, nothing will change under Moffat. "New teeth kidneys, we're crashing", delivered like yet another Tennant clone. I won't be watching. Why bother? It is a continuity-heavy series of recycled, formulaic events yet these events will be overwritten, undermined, or just flat out forgotten on a whim.

Keeping up with this fan-fiction is the very definition of futility. Nothing that happens matters, but everything that happens is required to follow the current overarching "plot".